About this blog

I am a born-and-raised Mormon girl who is, technically speaking, agnostic. This blog is about reconciling my actual religious beliefs with the church that I was raised in, that is a part of me, and that I love. It's what the subtitle says it is--it's about coping. I wish that I had a simple faith life. I wish that I could just believe in this thing and throw myself into it. I don't have that in me. But I love the LDS church and I want to be a part of it.

I have a lot of weaknesses--a lot, a lot--but my one true strength is that I am honest. Almost to a fault. Okay, definitely to a fault. Seriously, my honesty is what got me into this mess in the first place. It's what made it impossible for me to continue doing what I was doing. But I am figuring out how to participate in the church, and teach my children the gospel, while still being honest with myself.

This blog is where I figure that out, one doctrine/practice/tradition at a time.

4 comments:

  1. I appreciate your story and blog more than you probably can imagine. Over the past 3-4 years I have come to be in a very similar place. I have hope and attend church for many of the same reason that you do. My wife however has been blessed with an obedient nature and does not feel the same way as I do. One of our biggest issues currently is tithing. I believe whole heartly in the principle and my wife and I disagree on how that principle should be expressed? I'm just curious if you have any insight/thought on the tithing issue. You are obviously honest and elequent and I'm interested to hear.

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  2. I think tithing is really tough. In my case, my husband is definitely not willing to pay tithing. Since I stay at home and don't earn any money, I don't feel good pressuring him to pay tithing to a church he would rather not have anything to do with in the first place. I do think that if we're participating in an organization, we should contribute something to it financially to help it keep functioning. I can't do 10%, but we can do something. If I were to earn money from some side job, though, I would pay tithing on that.

    I believe that tithing is SUCH a personal issue. I hope that if God is going to judge people on it at all, that he will judge them individually rather than holding them to a strict 10% measure. In a marriage, where husband and wife share money, if there's a disagreement on how to live the principle of tithing, I kinda feel like they should find a number that the reluctant spouse feels comfortable paying and leave it at that. I have a hard time believing in a God who would "punish" the other spouse for choosing to maintain marital harmony over being a "perfect" tithe payer. In a church that values family over almost everything else, I would think that peace in the home is more important than tithing. I hope that priesthood leaders would be understanding of that as well. Just my opinion.

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  3. Hello.

    My name is John Draper. I'm hoping you might be willing to review my first novel, A Danger to God Himself. It is not a religious book. It is literary fiction and a satire of religious certainty. It's the story of a Mormon missionary who goes insane on his mission. Here is the back cover blurb:

    Mormon missionary/onetime hedonist Kenny Feller has realized that God isn’t about to give him an ounce of the miracle power he needs to succeed on his mission—as promised! What’s more, he’s concluded that, frankly, people aren’t worth the trouble. Then his new junior companion shows up—the wisecracking Jared Baserman—and immediately starts hearing heavenly voices and seeing fantastic visions. For Kenny, it is immediately clear that God has sent Jared to propel him into Mormon Manhood.

    But Kenny’s not the only person who takes note. Interests both virtuous and malevolent cozy up to Kenny and Jared, eager to make use of Jared’s gifting. At first, Kenny takes this as a sign that his perceptions of Jared are spot on. God is using Jared.

    But something’s not quite right.

    Specifically, why in the hell would God choose someone as slope-shouldered as Jared—someone so unreligious, so strange—to be a channel for His supernatural power? He doesn’t even read the Book of Mormon. Plus he smells funny. As their tracting grows fruitless and Jared’s messages grow more bizarre, Kenny begins to wonder: Is Jared really touched by God?

    And, if so, does God know what He’s doing?

    A Danger to God Himself is a scathing takedown of religious certainty, a life-affirming tale set in 1970s Washington state—equal parts spiritual road map and coming-of-age tale.

    I'd be happy to send you a copy for your review.

    Thanks for your time.

    -john
    hoju1959@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello.

    My name is John Draper. I'm hoping you might be willing to review my first novel, A Danger to God Himself. It is not a religious book. It is literary fiction and a satire of religious certainty. It's the story of a Mormon missionary who goes insane on his mission. Here is the back cover blurb:

    Mormon missionary/onetime hedonist Kenny Feller has realized that God isn’t about to give him an ounce of the miracle power he needs to succeed on his mission—as promised! What’s more, he’s concluded that, frankly, people aren’t worth the trouble. Then his new junior companion shows up—the wisecracking Jared Baserman—and immediately starts hearing heavenly voices and seeing fantastic visions. For Kenny, it is immediately clear that God has sent Jared to propel him into Mormon Manhood.

    But Kenny’s not the only person who takes note. Interests both virtuous and malevolent cozy up to Kenny and Jared, eager to make use of Jared’s gifting. At first, Kenny takes this as a sign that his perceptions of Jared are spot on. God is using Jared.

    But something’s not quite right.

    Specifically, why in the hell would God choose someone as slope-shouldered as Jared—someone so unreligious, so strange—to be a channel for His supernatural power? He doesn’t even read the Book of Mormon. Plus he smells funny. As their tracting grows fruitless and Jared’s messages grow more bizarre, Kenny begins to wonder: Is Jared really touched by God?

    And, if so, does God know what He’s doing?

    A Danger to God Himself is a scathing takedown of religious certainty, a life-affirming tale set in 1970s Washington state—equal parts spiritual road map and coming-of-age tale.

    I'd be happy to send you a copy for your review.

    Thanks for your time.

    -john
    hoju1959@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete