The permanence of my agnosticism

Some people consider agnosticism a temporary state on the road to belief or atheism. Indeed, many Mormons and readers of my blog think I'm searching for that. They make well-meaning comments wishing me well on my "faith journey". Some people even make comments about how "we're all in a different place" in this journey, as if my hope testimony is kind of a "step in the right direction" (which is actually kinda condescending, but I try to focus on the well-meaning part, because these really are wonderful people with good intent).

Well, I'm not searching for real belief. I don't expect to ever have the convictions that I used to have. I'm not seeking them. My beliefs are what they are, and I'm comfortable with them. I hope for the things I hope for, and that hope drives my behaviors, but I don't require that hope to ever progress to belief or knowledge or conviction. It's enough where it is.

When I first felt the urge to start this blog, I started looking around at what else there was like it. You know, market saturation and all that. I found a lot of blogs about being an agnostic Mormon but they were all about an active Mormon who was a closet agnostic, working through their belief problems and ultimately leaving the church. My blog is obviously kind of the opposite. It's about being agnostic and trying to work my way back into the church. But it's about being Mormon AND being agnostic. I don't ever intend to separate the two (though you should see my disclaimer). This journey of mine is not a journey toward faith. It's just a journey toward happiness, using principles from the LDS gospel to guide me and my family, because I believe that those principles are good and effective ones.